Roger's Story
by Gator-Girl1
Summary: What happened to Roger Hammond after he was banished from Jericho? This story offers one possibility.
1. Chapter 1

Roger's Story: Chapter 1: One Last Breath*

Rating: PG (Later chapters may have a higher rating)

Disclaimer: The name "Jericho" and all character names and trademarks associated with the television program are the intellectual property of Junction Entertainment, Fixed Mark Productions, CBS Paramount Television and/or CBS Studios, Inc. The following story is intended solely as an intellectual exercise without profit motive. No infringement of copyright is intended or should be implied.

Notes: This story was not beta read, so all mistakes are my own. Feedback is always appreciated.

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Roger Hammond collapsed against a fence post along a deserted country road. The cold January wind cut through his coat as he rested on the hard frozen ground. He looked out across the barren white prairie. In this moment, he felt truly alone. The sun wasn't even his companion today as the sky was overcast. He didn't have a watch, but he estimated that it must be close to midday.

He'd spent the past two weeks trying to make his way across the Kansas prairie in the middle of winter. Jake Green had suggested New Bern as a possible destination and Roger had gone there but hadn't made it past the road block. Even the mention of Heather and Eric's names made no difference. He was told there was no place for him there. Knowing it was pointless to argue; Roger worked a new strategy together and hit the roads again.

Roger shrugged off his backpack and pulled it in front of him. He didn't even feel the cold ground below him. Roger opened the front zipper and pulled out the last of some crackers he'd found in an abandoned farmhouse a couple of days before. He looked at the almost empty plastic lunch bag and counted the number of crackers left. He was down to two and some crumbs. He debated whether to eat it what was left now or wait. He knew it could be days before he would get more to eat, but he also knew he wouldn't last much longer on the roads.

Finally deciding that he might as well eat it now, he took a bite trying to pretend that it was a piece of his favorite Chicago-style pizza. As he imagined the tempting flavors of the pepperoni and cheese, he was able to ignore the fact that the crackers were stale and dry. As he finished the crackers, ingesting each crumb in the bag, he reached out for a bit of cold snow eating some of it to help wash the cracker down. The snow melted shooting pain through his teeth. He was still thirsty, but the snow provided no relief.

He next pulled out his map trying to gauge where he was. Roger knew he was somewhere near the border of Kansas and Nebraska. He wasn't sure on which side of the state line he was, but he knew he was headed in the right direction. Roger figured that most people would be heading south at this time. If he was going to make it, he'd have to think outside the box. His plan was to keep walking along these country roads until he hit Kearney. He had a couple of friends from college who lived in the town. If he had any shot at finding a safe refuge it was there, but he hadn't anticipated how cold it would be or how long it would actually take him.

Roger knew that his time left was short. There was no way that he was going to make it that far in light of the situation he was in. He looked at the map and calculated that he was at least one hundred miles away. He wasn't able to travel more than a few miles a day which meant at best he'd get there weeks from now. In the spring, the trip would've been nothing, but in the current temperatures, he wasn't going to make it that long.

Physically and mentally he was drained. He already wondered through this country once with the definite purpose of getting home to Emily. Now he was headed in the opposite direction; away from home and away from Emily. She'd offered to come with him, but he couldn't let her do that. As he told her, he'd faced down Gary Anderson to protect the people he loved. He wasn't about to put the person he loved the most in danger. The other issue was that she wasn't in love with him. Sure she loved him, but it seemed at every turn, she wasn't the same loving woman he'd known before Roger had left for Chicago. With the return of Jake Green, Roger knew deep down in his heart that Emily was no longer his. Without a guiding star, he felt adrift.

On top of his mental fatigue, he was physically in pain. His body ached from the long days of walking and he was physically exhausted from the few hours of sleep he managed to get when he could find shelter. He was pretty sure his toes were frost bitten as every step he took shot pain through his foot. It wouldn't be much longer before he stopped feeling anything at all.

Then there was his food situation. Those crackers were the last of what he had to eat. He looked across the prairie, but didn't see a house anywhere in his line of sight. Maybe it had been a mistake to stray so far from the main roads, but then if he'd stayed nearer to civilization, he would have been prey to road gangs.

It happened in an instant; the decision to quit. What did he have to live for? His parents were more than likely dead, having been in Chicago when the bombs went off. He'd been exiled from his home, leaving his beautiful Emily behind. He had no one left in the world. He'd done what he'd set out to do. He made sure that those he'd loved were protected. What was left for him to do? Closing his eyes, he drifted off into painless oblivion.

To be continued….

* Title of Chapter comes from song "One Last Breath" by Creed.


	2. Chapter 2

Roger's Story: Chapter 2 "Supermassive Black Hole"*

Rating: PG (Mostly for language)

Disclaimer: The name "Jericho" and all character names and trademarks associated with the television program are the intellectual property of Junction Entertainment, Fixed Mark Productions, CBS Paramount Television and/or CBS Studios, Inc. The following story is intended solely as an intellectual exercise without profit motive. No infringement of copyright is intended or should be implied.

Notes: This story was not beta read, so all mistakes are my own. Feedback is always appreciated.

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The sound of a truck engine broke the silence of the prairie within a minute of Roger closing his eyes. In a flash of a moment, he opened his eyes and watched a large black humvee come barreling down the road in his direction.

Roger wasn't sure what to do. Out in the open prairie there wasn't any place to hide; not that it mattered. The irony hit him as he remembered that only seconds ago he'd given up on himself and on his future. Whether the cold took him out or these strangers in a humvee did; what did it matter? He had to keep from laughing at himself. Wasn't it just a moment ago that he'd given up and was ready to die?

He didn't even have time to debate hiding because within the flash of a moment the humvee was upon him. It was moving fast enough that it passed him on the road. He was sure the driver hadn't even seen him and even if they had he'd been of no consequence to him, but to Roger's astonishment, the humvee stopped and slowly backed up in his direction. Roger considered reaching for a gun which he'd stashed in his front pocket. This was the same gun that Jake Green had quietly given him as Roger was forced out of town. It was the same gun that had absolutely no bullets because said Jake Green hadn't given him any, the bastard he was.

The humvee stopped a few feet from him. Roger came to decision to leave the gun where it was. He'd let this person or persons take what they want and he'd go with his original plan; die in the cold. Really, what choice did he have?

He realized rather quickly that his fate wasn't in his hands anymore. Before the bombs, he hadn't taken the time to think about what he believed. Roger's focus was on setting goals and achieving them. In the world he had created for himself, religion had no place. Now, he knew that there had to be someone out there watching over him. There was not other reason he should be alive right now. Roger gave it up to whatever higher power was out there as he watched two figures exit the vehicle from both sides. He listened to them argue back and forth as he quietly awaited his fate.

"Your father is already going to kill me for letting you come out here with me!" a young man exclaimed in an exasperated voice. He was dressed in gray overcoat, scarf and hat and didn't look to be older than twenty-five. His sandy blonde hair poked out from beneath his hat.

"I'm not going to leave a man sitting on the side of the road without knowing he's okay," the woman explained. She was older, probably around Roger's age with her long brown hair in two braids that stuck out from underneath a cowboy hat. Like the other man, she was dressed for the weather in a blue overcoat and scarf. The woman came toward Roger handing her rifle to her companion. "Anyway, protocol is to take anyone in who is on our land."

"He's like barely on it," the young man argued.

Roger was mesmerized by the woman. Her kind emerald green eyes and ready smile took him off guard. Well, if she was going to be his angel of death, at least she was pretty.

"So, what do we have here?" the woman asked kneeling down next to Roger. "Are you okay?"

Roger didn't answer.

"Do you have a name?" she asked casually as she started looking him over. She put two fingers to his throat feeling for a pulse and took a small flashlight looking into his eyes. It took Roger a minute to realize she was evaluating him like a doctor or nurse or something.

"Dwight, check his bag and see if he's got some ID or something."

The man bent down and opened the front pocket looking to see what he could find. Roger didn't even acknowledge what the man was doing. His entire focus was on the woman's green eyes as she continued to check him for injuries.

"Rachel, his ID says he's from Jericho, Kansas. He also has a gun with no ammo," Dwight answered with disgust.

"I'm not up on my geography. Where is Jericho, Kansas?" she asked to both men.

Roger didn't answer.

Finally, Dwight offered, "Beats me. Not anywhere near here as far as I know."

Rachel started looking concerned as finished her evaluation of Roger. "Dwight, we've got to get him to shelter," she announced. "He's starting to go into shock from the cold."

"Rachel, your father isn't going to like this," Dwight warned.

"I'll take full blame," Rachel assured him. "Anyway, if it was anyone else out here finding him, they would have brought him in too."

"Yeah, like that's going to make any difference," Dwight whined.

Rachel turned back to Roger who was still staring, speechless. "You, my quiet friend, are going to have to help me. You're going to have to get yourself off this frozen ground."

Everything about the woman from her gentle manner to her offering to get him out of the cold took him off guard. Roger knew she was daring him to move; to take what she was offering. Maybe this life wasn't done with him yet. He willed his tired, aching muscles to move. He struggled to pull himself off the ground. Once he was up, she picked up his backpack and helped him to the humvee.

"Stop for a second," Dwight yelled. He came up to Rachel and Roger as she was about to help him into the vehicle. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and proceeded to pull Roger's hands behind him cuffing him. Roger didn't even bother to struggle.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rachel asked anger clearly in her voice. It surprised Roger; his angel wasn't supposed to get angry.

"Look, if we are going to bring him back with us, I'm at least taking some precautions," Dwight explained. He reached into the humvee and pulled a black cloth sack out.

"What the hell?" Rachel asked as she helped Roger into the truck. She didn't look too happy at the moment. Roger knew she wasn't made at him. He hadn't done anything to upset her. Roger knew it had something to do with the black sack.

"If we are doing this, we're doing this by the book," Dwight determinedly replied.

"You and your bloody book!" Rachel responded.

Rachel gave Roger a look of apology as she tossed his backpack next to him in the backseat. Once she was upfront, Dwight reached over Roger and placed the black cloth sack he was carrying over Roger's head. He didn't even flinch. Roger was in a black hole as far as he knew. He'd gotten sucked in and now who knew if he'd ever get out.

TBC

*Name of this chapter comes from song "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse.


	3. Chapter 3

Roger's Story: Chapter 3: Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance

Rating: PG (Later chapters may have a higher rating)

Disclaimer: The name "Jericho" and all character names and trademarks associated with the television program are the intellectual property of Junction Entertainment, Fixed Mark Productions, CBS Paramount Television and/or CBS Studios, Inc. The following story is intended solely as an intellectual exercise without profit motive. No infringement of copyright is intended or should be implied.

Notes: This story was not beta read, so all mistakes are my own. Feedback is always appreciated.

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_Crackle. Crackle._ I recognized the sound of a burning wet log as I began to wake up. The next thing I noticed was the heavy weight of the blankets lying over me and the feeling of perspiration on my face. I was uncomfortably warm, but I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. I'd been cold for so long that it felt good to sweat.

I finally opened my eyes and looked around an unfamiliar darkened room. The faint light from the fireplace illuminated the room enough to make it clear that it was a bedroom with flowery wallpaper on the walls and low ceilings. If the room was any indication of the rest of the house, it was probably an older home.

I couldn't recall how I'd gotten there. The last thing I'd remembered was sitting in the back of a Humvee in the dark. I guess somewhere along the way my exhaustion had taken over and I'd passed out. I was surprised that I'd slept through the movement from the vehicle to this room. Not sleeping for days could do that to you.

The familiar rumble of my stomach reminded me of my perpetual hunger and I finally decided to go in search of food. As I pushed back the covers, I realized I was dressed in unfamiliar clothing. I looked at the Nebraska Cornhuskers logo on my sweatshirt and laughed a bit at myself as I thought about how Emily would've shot me. She was a Jayhawk. Emily…I forced myself to push thoughts of her to the back of my mind. There was no point in thinking about her any more. I'd probably never see her again and she was probably in the arms of Jake Green now anyway. I wiped the perspiration from face on my sleeve as I sat on the edge of the bed testing my sore muscles.

I looked down at my toes and saw that they'd been wrapped up in bandages. I tried wiggling them but pain shot through my feet. I debated whether getting out of the bed, at that moment, was the smartest idea when it was pretty clear that my feet were a disaster. Finally, the growling of my stomach answered my question and I pushed my self off the bed and onto my sore feet.

As my feet hit the cold wood floor, pain shot through them and up my legs. If for a moment I'd thought I was dreaming, it was over. Reality set in; I was really here in this strange place. Remembering that I'd given up my fate to a higher power, I headed out to the even darker hallway hoping to find something to eat or at least some who could tell me where I was.

I groped my way down the short darkened hallway toward a faint light at the end of the hall. Finally, I made it to end of the hallway and found myself in what looked to be a kitchen. I stopped at the entry way as my eyes fell on my angel. She was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book by lamplight. Her thick long brown hair flowed down her back as she bent over the book. Even in the faint light of the room, her beauty shown through. I searched my brain trying to remember her name. Rachel. Her name was Rachel and she'd saved me from a lonely death in the cold.

"Look, who's finally awake," Rachel commented with a ready smile as she looked up from her book. She got up and headed toward where I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She took me by the arm and led me to the table where she was sitting. Where her hand rested on my arm, I could feel an electric current running from her to me. I'd never felt anything like it. _Maybe she really was an angel?_ She laughed a bit and I was confused. She noticed my confusion and offered, "I just realized you don't even know who I am. Roger, my name is Rachel."

I nodded in acknowledgment not sure how to respond. I was so amazed at the welcoming nature of her presence.

"You've got to be pretty hungry," she commented as she got up and headed to a woodstove with a pot on top. "I've got some warm soup for you to eat. I know you think you're hungry enough to eat a horse, but we're going to start off slow since you haven't had anything substantial in awhile."

I nodded and sat down at the table across from where Rachel had been sitting. I watch her walk over to the counter and grab a bowl from a cabinet. I follow her every move as she opened a small pot and stirred the contents. After assessing it in the faint light in the room, Rachel dished out the contents into the bowl and came to where I was sitting and placed it in front of me.

Finally, I found my voice, "Thank you."

"No problem," Rachel replied as she sat down again in her seat at the table.

"I mean everything. I haven't had a chance to thank you for taking me off the road." I took a sip of soup. Its warmth flowed over my lips and down my throat. I was sure it was burning my tongue, but I didn't care. I was eating and warm. Two things that only a few short hours ago I'd never thought would happen again.

"And I haven't had the chance to apologize for Dwight treating you like some prisoner of war," Rachel tossed back at him.

"It's okay," I offered knowing that I was getting much better treatment than I probably deserved.

"You've got to understand. He's just a kid and he's Ravenwood. Those guys are nuts."

"Ravenwood. You have Ravenwood here?" I asked in alarm. I'd seen what those guys were capable of and I began to worry about what I'd gotten myself into.

Rachel looked like she'd noted my alarm. "Don't worry. They aren't here in an official capacity or anything. Dwight, Mitch, and Andy worked a FEMA camp near the border with Colorado. It was all refugees from Denver," she explained. "I guess someone decided that they didn't want to spend any more resources on them, especially since most of them were going to be dead soon anyway. Dwight was given the order to euthanize the entire camp," she went on disgust in her voice.

I merely nodded my head. I had already heard rumors about it. It didn't surprise me that there was proof they'd done it.

"Well, those guys are good kids and they couldn't go along with it, so they took off knowing that they weren't going to be able to stop it. They ran out of gas not far from here. Pops found them stuck on the side of the road."

"Where is here, anyway?" I finally asked once I was sure she was done telling the story.

"Eden's Point, Nebraska."

I didn't know where that it was on a map.

Rachel figuring out that the name wasn't registering, "If there's a bright spot in the Universe, this is as far from it as you can get."

I gave her a blank stare not getting the reference.

Rachel smiled and shook her head at me. "We're not far from the border with Kansas; about 100 miles north of where you're from, Jericho. Judy, my mother-in-law, is related to the mayor's wife. They're cousins. Pops and Judy were able to point it out to me on a map and tell me what they knew about your hometown."

"Small world," I replied not sure if finding someone who knew anything or anyone is Jericho was a good thing or not. I was also slightly disappointed to find out that my angel was married. Not that it mattered, but angels weren't married to mere mortals like me.

"Yes it is," she commented with a small smile. She noticed my soup bowl was already empty and she took it without asking. She got up and got me more soup.

"Are we in town then?" I asked curious about where I'd ended up.

"No, we're on Pops', my father-in-law's, cattle ranch. The town only has a few buildings along the main road, but that's it." She set down the bowl in front of me and took her seat again.

"I remembered something Dwight said about your father. Does he live near here?" I asked concerned about how much trouble she'd gotten into saving me.

"Uh, no. My parents lived in Denver," she replied with a touch of sadness in her voice. "Dwight was talking about my father-in-law Pops."

I felt bad opening up a sore subject and so I tried to find some common ground, "I think we've all lost somebody in the bombs. My parents were in Chicago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she honestly offered. She quickly got up from her seat and came over to where I was sitting with the lamp. She kneeled down and lifted my legs to examine my feet. She unwrapped the bandages and started evaluating my feet. "How do they feel?"

"They hurt," I replied not wanting to tell her that I was starting to wish someone would cut them off.

"That's good. It means there's still circulation. I was worried when I first saw them that I'd have to amputate, but I think they're going to be okay." She set my feet back down.

"That's good to hear," I replied trying to hide the fear that the word 'amputation' was putting in me. I immediately regretted wishing someone would cut them off. "Are you a doctor?" I asked worriedly wondering if she was qualified to be cutting off feet.

"Yes, I'm a surgeon," she replied with a smile and got up and headed back to her seat.

I had so many questions like what is a surgeon doing out here in the middle of nowhere and where was her husband. Was he asleep along with most the house? Before I could even begin asking my questions, she started in on her own.

"So, what were you doing out there on the roadside freezing to death?" she asked with concern.

I quietly sat for a moment as I thought about the answer to that question. I could tell her the whole truth; that I'd shot a man and been banished from my home. I could tell her I was just headed to Kearney. Both answers were true, but the first was probably going to get me into trouble. "I was headed to Kearney to find some friends to stay with."

"That doesn't make sense. You were much closer to Jericho, Kansas than you were to Kearney. Why would you head there when your life was in the opposite direction?"

I knew I'd been caught, but tried to come up with a good excuse. "Things in Jericho weren't good. They were running out of food and fuel. I needed to find a better place."

Rachel shook her head and got up from her chair. She crossed the room to the counter where she picked up a wallet that was sitting on it. She came back to the table and sat down. She opened the wallet to a picture of me and Emily together. "You still aren't making sense to me. This is your finance and she's from Jericho. Why would you leave her there if it was so bad?"

I was shocked that she knew about Emily. "How do you know about Emily?"

"The picture in your wallet had your names and short statement about it being your engagement photo written on the back. We rifled through your things while you were asleep," she answered unapologetically.

I didn't bother protesting the invasion of my privacy. If I'd been in their position, I would have done the same thing. "Okay, I'll tell you the full story. When the bombs went off, I was on a flight from Chicago to Wichita. Rather than fly blind to Wichita, the pilot took the plane down in a field in the middle of Nebraska. I stayed with the plane for two days. When no help came, I headed out to find it. I wondered the Nebraska countryside for a couple of weeks, probably just going in circles. Finally, I made it to a FEMA camp on I-80." I left out the part about seeing the bright light and how it had saved me. I didn't want to freak the poor woman out or make her think I was nuts.

"Well, I take it you didn't stay there," Rachel offered. "I've heard those camps are pretty awful."

"That's why I decided to head home. Along the way, I picked up about 50 people with the promise that Jericho would be a safe haven for them. I was wrong."

Rachel said nothing, but I could tell she was listening intently.

"Things were okay when we got there, but it went downhill fast. They were running short on fuel and food."

"Food? Jericho is in the middle of the bread basket of the country right?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, I had my suspicions that a lot of the farmers were hording, refusing to give up what they had while people were dying from hunger. Well as time went by, things got worse. The refugees went from getting full rations to half rations. Then finally a few weeks ago the Mayor moved to send them away. I couldn't let that happen. I confronted the Mayor about it and he pulled a gun on me. We got into a scuffle and he ended up with a gunshot to the stomach. I was forced to leave."

"That doesn't sound like the Johnston Green that Judy was talking about," Rachel commented confusion clearly written over her face.

"Johnston Green isn't Mayor of Jericho anymore. They had an election while I was gone and elected this guy named Gray Anderson."

"Ah, now its making more sense," Rachel replied. "Did your friends get to stay?"

"Yes."

"Well, then what you did was worth it. You did the brave thing."

"It was stupid," I replied.

"Most of our bravest actions are often our most stupid," Rachel countered.

"I don't know," I said shaking my head in disgust with myself.

"What happened to your fiancé?"

"I couldn't let her go out on the road with me. I almost died if it wasn't for you," I explained giving the standard answer I'd been telling myself for three weeks. I knew it was a lie or at the very least a half-truth. In the few weeks I'd been back in Jericho, I'd come to the realization that Emily didn't want me as much as I wanted her. I'd been fighting for our relationship; making sacrifices for what? For a woman who didn't seem to care that I'd walked hundreds of miles to get back to her.

Somehow sensing that there was more to it than what I'd said, Rachel offered, "I know its hard saying goodbye to someone you love."

"Maybe so," I replied.

We sat in silence as I finished the last of the soup in my bowl. With my stomach full, I felt exhaustion hitting me again. Rachel took notice, "You better get back to bed."

I nodded my head as I headed back to the bedroom from which I came. Rachel followed me providing light as I walked down the hallway.

She stuck her head in the door as I started getting under the covers again. "If you need anything, I'm in the room next door."

"Thanks," I replied as I watched her duck out. I closed my eyes and let exhaustion overtake me again.


	4. Chapter 4

Roger's Story: Chapter 4: Is it the End or the Beginning?

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: The name "Jericho" and all character names and trademarks associated with the television program are the intellectual property of Junction Entertainment, Fixed Mark Productions, CBS Paramount Television and/or CBS Studios, Inc. The following story is intended solely as an intellectual exercise without profit motive. No infringement of copyright is intended or should be implied.

Notes: This story was not beta read, so all mistakes are my own. Feedback is always appreciated. I made the editorial choice to finish the story with this chapter. While I would've loved to go into the great details of what had happened to Roger, it wasn't feasible to do so. So, here is the most satisfying conclusion that I could come up with. Let me know what you think.

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I woke up to the sound of voices echoing into the bedroom where I was sleeping. I tried to listen for the voice of my angel, Rachel, but I couldn't make it out in the sea of sounds. I could hear the deep chuckles of male voices and the occasional admonishment from an older woman's voice. Even the occasional screech from a young baby could be heard. A baby…I wondered who the baby belonged to.

Before I could ponder the sounds I was hearing any more, the smell of bacon frying wafted through the door. My stomach growled and my taste buds watered at the thought of bacon. It'd been more than four months since I'd had anything resembling breakfast. I was honestly beginning to believe I'd died and gone to heaven.

My euphoria was dampened as I started feeling like I was being watched. Having been on the road and in FEMA camps, I'd gained a sort of sixth sense for when someone was there. I couldn't count the number of times that feeling had saved my life or the lives of my friends. I started looking around the room to find who was watching. My eyes fell on a small boy with big blue eyes and curly blond hair sitting at the end of the bed watching me. His face did not betray any emotion.

The boy couldn't have been older than three or four at most. He remained silent, watching me watch him. His utter stillness was unsettling. Boys his age usually were jumping off the walls, causing their mothers trouble. I finally broke the silence and said, "Hi, little guy," in as gentle a manner as I could, trying not to scare him.

He said nothing in return. Before I could make another attempt at communication, Rachel came through the door. She looked at the boy and in a low voice, "Evan, what are you doing bothering this nice man?" She continued to the end of the bed where the boy was sitting and scooped him up in his arms.

"Mommy who is he?" Evan asked. He clung to Rachel's neck and she held him.

Rachel looked at me and gave an apologetic look. "His name is Roger and he's going to be staying with us."

"Oh," Evan replied feeling relieved that his mother was comfortable with the stranger. Roger watched as Evan started sliding down his mother's torso and out of her arms.

"Why don't you run along? Grandma's got your breakfast ready," Rachel said playing with her son's hair as he remained at her side.

He looked up at her and then looked at me. Guessing that I wasn't a threat or the temptation of breakfast was too much, he barreled out the door leaving his mother behind.

"I'm sorry about that," Rachel offered giving me another apologetic look. In the bright daylight, I found her just as engaging as I had the night before. "He's at that curious about everyone and everything stage."

I smiled, not because I really understood, but because I liked the explanation and the woman giving it.

"When you're ready, breakfast is out in the kitchen," Rachel said as she headed out the door.

I was left alone, still lying in the bed contemplating my fate. It was weird how one event could change the course of one's life so absolutely. Only twenty-four hours before, I'd been walking a long the side of some cold back country road. Now, I was safe and warm.

I smiled at the thought of Rachel as a mother. It made sense as she was so good at comforting. The little boy was beautiful. Rachel's husband, whoever he was, was a very lucky man to have such a beautiful family. It was the kind of family that I'd longed for not that many months ago as I planned my wedding with Emily. Once again, I'd come back to the thought that one moment could change everything.

I finally got up and dragged my ass out of bed. Every muscle in my body ached and my feet felt like they were on fire. I hadn't realized how bad off I was out on that road until I wasn't on the road any more. I wondered how long I'd be able to stay here before I'd be sent on my way. From the way Rachel was, I assumed she hoped I'd be able to stay at least long enough for my feet to heal. I pushed thoughts of leaving out of my head and started to focus on the here and now.

As I made it down the hall, I came to the crowded bright kitchen. I looked around trying to decide if there were any familiar faces. I found Rachel who was sitting in between her son Evan who was chomping away at bacon and an older male infant in a high chair trying to feed himself what looked to be oatmeal. The baby's face was covered in white gooey stuff and he seemed happy. I guessed that both boys were Rachel's. I tore my eyes away from that scene to find a man I recognized as Dwight standing along one of the counters eating his own breakfast of eggs and bacon.

I didn't hold any ill will toward Dwight. He was obviously young and had been trying to protect the people he was with. Heck, I'd been treated worse by people who had supposedly known me. For all this Dwight knew, I could have been Jack the Ripper. He was too busy talking to two men near him to notice that I'd entered the room and my staring hadn't attracted his notice.

It was Rachel's voice that brought me back to her. "Roger, why don't you have a seat." She pointed toward an empty chair on the other side of the baby. I took her suggestion and sat down giving her a smile of thanks.

A plump older woman sat a plate down in front of me with eggs, bacon, and a small steak. I looked at the dish feeling like I could probably eat the entire plate, but knowing that I'd probably be lucky to eat half. It was more food than I'd seen in what felt like forever.

"Hi, Roger. My name is Judy. Welcome to our home," she offered. She had kind blue eyes and graying blond hair. The boys looked a great deal like her. She stood there for a moment watching me; evaluating me I guessed.

"Judy, stop hovering over the boy," a man sitting across from me gruffly ordered. He was older, probably in his mid-sixties with silver hair and dark eyes. Looking at him, all I could think about was that he looked exactly like the Marlboro man thirty years later. He was very much like the cowboys that I'd grown up watching in reruns of "Rawhide" and "Bonanza."

"I'm not hovering; I'm giving him his breakfast," Judy defended. She backed away and headed toward the sink where she was working on washing dishes.

"I'm Lloyd by the way," the man introduced himself. "Most people call me Pops. How are you doing this fine morning?"

"Fine sir. Thank you very much for your hospitality," I offered Lloyd who was giving me a welcoming smile, but an intimidating look. I understood quickly that his hospitality only lasted as long as I was not a threat to those he loved.

"Pops," Rachel whined. "Leave the poor guy alone."

"What? What did I say?" he asked in amusement pretending to be innocent.

"Lloyd, we better get going if we're going to get those chores done this morning," Dwight interrupted.

Rachel quickly introduced Dwight and his friends to me as they headed toward the front room to get ready to brave the cold. The room fell silent as Judy worked on her dishes and everyone else worked on their breakfast.

Surprisingly I was actually finishing my plate. I knew I'd probably not be hungry for lunch, if there was going to be any, but I was so thankful that I'd actually eaten real food.

Once the door slammed closed in the front, Lloyd started in on Rachel. "I'm not going to have a repeat of yesterday am I?" he asked ignoring the fact that I was still in the room.

"Pops, I'm sorry. Yesterday was a tough day. I had to get out of the house for a little while."

"We all miss him," he explained. "But you've got more to worry about than yourself. You've got these two boys who need their mother. What if something had happened to you?"

Rachel gulped as she took in her father-in-law's criticism.

"Layoff Lloyd. The poor girl's been through enough already. And if she hadn't gone out there yesterday, poor Roger probably be dead," Judy argued not turning from her task.

"Judy. It's okay," Rachel interjected. She gave me her third apologetic look for the day. "Pops, I promise I won't leave the immediate vicinity without clearing it with you again."

Lloyd nodded his head accepting Rachel's word on the subject as he got up. He gave his wife a kiss on the cheek as she continued working on her dishes and Lloyd headed toward the door. He wordlessly left having said whatever it was that he needed to say.

I knew that there was a lot more to this conversation and the confusion must have shown on my face. Rachel nodded at me and then asked Judy to watch the kids for a few minutes while she took a look at my feet in the other room. I wordlessly followed Rachel back to the bedroom where I'd been sleeping the night before and I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry about that. You must be pretty confused," she offered as she kneeled down to check the bandages on my feet.

I immediately felt like I was intruding; that she shouldn't have to feel obligated to explain anything. She'd saved my life. She didn't owe me anything. "You don't have to explain anything…"

"Yeah, I do," she interrupted.

I shook my head. "You've already done so much for me."

"Not more than you did for me…you see you were an answer to a prayer."

"Me…how?" I asked in confusion. Up to that moment, I had doubted that I'd been anyone's answer to anything.

"Yesterday was my wedding anniversary," Rachel explained as she got up from the floor and headed for a small bureau where some picture frames were sitting. She brought over a picture of a younger Rachel in wedding gown and a young man in a black cowboy hat and tuxedo. It was obviously a wedding photo. "Josh and I would've been married for ten years. Can you believe it ten years? People don't stay married that long anymore." She laughed a little at the thought as she sat down next to me on the bed.

I smiled encouragingly knowing that talking about this must be tough for her.

"Anyway, he was a good man; the best of men. We met in medical school. I was a city girl and he was cowboy from the middle of nowhere Nebraska. We were a match made in some crazy movie. He gave up his dreams of a small practice here in Eden's point to move to Denver with me so that I could become a surgeon. He gave up so much for me; for our family."

I watched as tears started spilling down her cheeks. It took everything in me from trying to wipe them away myself, but I knew the act would be too intimate. I start wondering how exactly her husband had died. So many people had been taken from this earth. It wasn't a surprise that he was dead.

Sensing that I was wondering about it, she finally explained. "He died a week before the bombs. It was some stupid traffic accident. A drunk driver crossed the median and hit Josh's car head on. Josh didn't have a chance. Judy thinks that he died to save us because if he hadn't been killed we'd all been in Denver when the bombs had gone off. Only he dying and wanting to be buried here on the family plot saved us. I know it doesn't make sense, but I kind of believe it."

I agreed with Judy. After everything I'd been through, I knew that there were no coincidences. Things happened for a reason.

"Problem with believing is that it's leaving me with so much guilt. I keep wondering why he had to die and I'm here living. It doesn't seem fair."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell her that life wasn't fair, but it didn't seem like the right thing to say. I took her hand and gave it a squeeze to let her know that I understood her pain.

"Normally, I can just push back the guilt, but yesterday it got to me. I honestly wanted to trade places with him. I got so mad that I had to get away from this house and the memories of him. When Dwight needed to go check a fence on one of the outer perimeters I went with him. Right before we came upon you, I'd prayed to God to show me why I was on this earth…why I was still here and Josh wasn't. Just as I was about to give up hope of ever getting an explanation… there you were…"

"Wow, I've never been an answer to someone's prayers before," I replied with a small smile.

"I know it sounds really weird," she said looking down at her hand which was still in mine.

"No it doesn't. I'd never thought much about God or Religion or my place in the universe, but then the bombs happened. I told you last night that I'd wondered about looking for help after my plane landed in that field. What I didn't tell you was that I'd about given up hope and prayed for the first time in my life that if there was a God to send some help and I'd change my life. I'd stop living for myself and start helping others. Not too long after that there was this strange light over the horizon that helped lead me to the FEMA camp where I found refuge."

"So, you lived up to your part of the bargain," she replied remembering what I told her yesterday.

"It wasn't actually that hard. I wanted to help those people. I needed to help those people," I explained trying to convey that somehow the bombs and that light on the horizon had changed my heart.

Rachel smiled at me as if she completely understood what I was saying. Without saying it, I knew that the same thing had happened to her. I'd found a soul mate.

In that moment, I looked into her eyes and realized that everything in my life had led me to here; to this place and to this woman. What did the future hold? Who knew? She was still in love with her dead cowboy of a husband. I was still in love with the beautiful vivacious Emily Sullivan. But we shared a common bond of love, loss, and faith. And I knew it was a bond that would never be broken.


End file.
